Dear Diary: Falling Down the “Should” Spiral

Jul 3

Dear Diary,

It was one of those afternoons. My laptop open. My to-do list judging me from across the desk. I caught myself mid-sigh muttering, “I should’ve had this done yesterday.”

And just like that, I was in the spiral.

I should’ve responded to that email.

I should’ve posted something strategic.

I should’ve followed up with that lead.

But none of those “shoulds” were urgent. They were just noise.

Let me take you back to the season I almost gave up on my business—not because things weren’t working, but because I couldn’t tell what I actually wanted anymore. Everything was reactive.

I saw other VAs doing the most—launching, scaling, rebranding. So I thought if I wasn’t doing all of it, I was falling behind.

So I did what I thought I should do. I signed up for a course. Bought new software. Told myself I’d reinvent my entire business model in four weeks.

What actually happened? Nothing. Except burnout.

The course was half-finished. the software ghosted after the free trial. The new model scrapped before it even launched.

Because I wasn’t acting from alignment. I was reacting out of panic.

Here’s what I learned:

→ “Should” is not a strategy

→ Busy doesn’t equal booked

→ Real growth comes from clarity, not chaos

Now, I treat pressure like a signal, not a command. When I feel the urge to scramble, I ask myself: is this aligned—or am I just afraid?

If you’re stuck in the spiral, try this:

🌀 Unsubscribe from urgency