DOVA: Dear Diary: Ruh-roh! Didn’t expect that plot twist!
Dear Diary,
Ever sit back, thinking you’ve got it all figured out, only to have life slap you across the face with a cold, hard reality check? Yeah, that was me—minding my business, running my “empire”, and then BAM! Betrayal.
If I’ve learned one thing in this life, it’s to never get too comfortable in this system. Don’t get me wrong, I believe in building trust and giving people chances, but I also believe in staying ready so you never have to get ready. And yet, somehow, this one caught me off guard.
As I write this, I’m at my desk, while my dog is literally barking at the wall like it’s plotting against her. My cat’s giving me that judgmental side-eye because I haven’t fed her her second breakfast yet. It’s chaos, but somehow comforting—furry distractions reminding me that life’s still moving, even when it’s messy.
Now back to the tea. This story is a wild one, so grab your cup 🍵
Before I became a coach, I was grinding. You know how it goes, 9 to 5 as an executive assistant in the silicon valley, making nearly six figures while side-hustling on Craigslist. Back then, nobody was calling themselves VAs. You were an independent contractor or a consultant if you wanted to sound fancy.
I was on those Craigslist forums like a hawk, looking for gigs. One day, I emailed some random post, and just like that, I was ghostwriting for the VP of an Australian domain reseller. I was writing blogs, press releases, my words were getting published, and the cash was flowing. That extra money let me start an online store/marketplace selling templates and HTML website designs. My side hustle was turning into something legit.
Looking back, I realize I was out here being an entrepreneur before I even knew the word. It wasn’t about the label. It was about making moves, being strategic, and creating income streams. I was doing the damn thing in my mid-20s hustling before hustling was a vibe.
So when I finally had no choice and went all in with my VA hustle, I knew I needed help to scale. It was growing, and I didn’t want to drop the ball. That’s when I decided to hire my first VA. I found her on Upwork, young, eager, from another country. She seemed like a great fit, and I figured we could grow together.
I started her off very part-time and small—organizing content, curating images for social media, helping with onboarding, and even interviewing other VAs for client placements. She was good, consistent, and after a few months, I felt that trust building. I even mentored her, sharing how to find clients and build her own side hustle.
I’m all about lifting as I climb. I was paying her between $800 and $900 bi-weekly. It was an investment, but I was making good money. I figured it was worth it if it meant I could focus on more strategic parts of my business.
Then, as life would have it, reality came in like a plot twist from a bad soap opera.
The Betrayal: When the Tea Got Piping Hot
A few of my high-ticket clients were on a 3-figure retainer. I was their executive VA—handling travel, managing marketing activations, and even hiring and firing. I’d wake up at 3 am sometimes because one was on the East Coast, but it was worth it. For a time, I was flying back and forth between LA and NYC. I was making it work, balancing those clients with other high-ticket projects and VA placements and recruitment.
One day, I got an email from my VA. She was quitting. No problem. People move on. But then I got the real gut punch—the client she was helping me with was ghosting me. I couldn’t figure out why until it hit me. My VA went behind my back, cutting a deal with the client to take over my role for less than half of what I was charging. They both dipped on me.
The moment of realization was like a Scooby Doo episode: Ruh-roh! Didn’t expect that twist!
That one stung. I wasn’t just mad, I was floored. I felt like a fool for trusting her. I had poured into this girl, mentored her, lifted her up, and this was how she repaid me? Nah. I wasn’t going to sit around and let it break me. I’ve been through too much in life to let one betrayal take me down.
I’m not new to the game. Life will test you, and not everyone will have the integrity you expect. I could’ve been bitter, but I wasn’t raised to hold grudges. I learned from my mama to be strong with grace, –Proverbs 19:11– to let people go without letting them take my glow.
Turns out, she was trying to pay for her father’s medical bills. I could have stayed upset, but honestly, the way she handled it was just disappointing. I was horrified. I know damn well that not everyone has the same loyalty standard I do. Some people act out of desperation, and that doesn’t make them evil—it just makes them human.
I didn’t panic. I didn’t fold. I had savings, other clients, and passive income. More importantly, I had a support system, I was going to be just fine, period. Losing that one client didn’t break my business. It just bruised my pride. But I took a deep breath, regrouped, and kept building. I’m a hustler by nature, and no one setback defines me.
And back to my current reality, as I’m typing this, my dog just knocked over my planner trying to get my attention. I can’t help but laugh. Life’s messy, unpredictable, and full of little reminders that I’m still here, still pushing, still glowing. My cat’s now perched on my lap, acting like she runs the place… rightly so, lol BUT I think they’re here to help keep me grounded.
It’s not about the loss. It’s about how you bounce back. I learned to trust my instincts, set clearer boundaries, and never lose sight of my own value. I can’t control how other people act, but I can control how I respond.
Sometimes it takes a betrayal to remind you that you’re not easily broken. I leveled up, not because I had to—but because that’s just who I am.
Current Mood: Dancing around the kitchen to 90s R&B while making iced lattes, reminding myself that every setback is just a setup for a major comeback. In fact, cue the Nathan for this entry 🎶 “Not Gon’ Cry” by Mary J. Blige. It’s raw, reflective, and full of power—perfect for acknowledging the hurt while channeling that CEO energy to rise from the ashes.
Peak of the Week: Having a loyal support system, and knowing they got me! #youknowwhoyouare
Glowing Gratitude: Grateful for the lessons disguised as setbacks. They showed me how strong I really am and how to keep my heart soft, even when this system gets rough.
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Monica ✌🏽❤️
